he made it look fun

Today was okay. Wasnt really that great and not that bad. I felt the need to write since everything else on the computer couldn't satsify me right now. I was watching a movie right now. and it wasnt so great. the directing, story, and acting was really bad. i left when half of the movie was done. well lets disguss school. since thats the only exciting thing in my life right now.

well its okay as well. my grades dropped to a 2.5. i am not happy about that at all. i was suppose to have a 3.0 to get my lip pierced in the summer, but i guess i have to wait now. well i do get my job hopefuly in the summer. maybe i can get it then along with another list of things. well my concer is in may and i am saving up my money so i can buy a few things when i get there. it will be really awesome. i am going to tell my brother to get me there early becuase i want to be in the front to see my favorite band. it would be the best thing ever. oh, back to school... well me and my friend are getting closer i think. my friend said she saw him checking me out the other day. that kind of made me happy. so i guess he thinks im attractive. and i let him borrow my ipod once too and he was giving it back to me, and we had a liitle hand action i guess. it was kind of cute. i think hes cute. even though sometimes he can be a liitle anime geek. i think its cute.

things at home are going well right now. nothing really bad going on that i can think of. i think i should write another little poem to keep my creativeness going on in my brain. i will be starting my junior year in september and there is more pressure for college coming up and deciding what major i will be choosing.(which i have no idea that will be) and what college. i know i will go to a community college for two years and then tranfer to a four year college. i am getting a little better at the piano. but barely because i hardly practice. i really wish i had started as a child at my grandmas. since i went everyday. i always wanted to play when i was a child but i was afraid of my grandmother yelling at me for messing with her piano. i want to get lessons for it.

im reading this book. and i know a million people have read it. but its actually pretty good. i have read this series book. and i have seen almost every body at school with it in there hands. i have no idea how this book suddenly got so popular. it kind of makes me not want to read the series anymore. even though i liked the book very much, i just dont really like the fact that everybody is reading it now. im kind of disappointed.

well, switching gears now, i was watching will and grace the other day and they were talking about a game night that they would be throwing. and in the it was misscommunication that got it to gay night and they were discussing it in the show. and my dad heard them saying gay night and made a sound of disapproval. i know he still doesnt like the idea of me being gay. and niehter does my mother. i have no idea anymore but, they kinda have to just deal with it. its not something i can change.

well, back to school the other day i was in my chemistry period and we were discussing how people hear "hidden messages" in music if you play it backwards and how it says a message from the devil or somehting. well i was just sharing my opinion with my friends on how that was just a pile of shit. and they agreeed with me. and i said that they're just saying that just to make the music look bad. and how i could play christian music backwards and say it says a hidden message as well. well, my friends got all defensive about what i said and called me a god-hating athiest and how i was trying to recruit them. well this got me very upset with them and thought "how could i hate god, if i dont beleive in him?" i know people will not accept me becuase of my sexuality and if they do then they wont accept me for my beleifs. i will not understand people.

but my hands are tired of typing now
so goodnight for now,

The Kill

=](continued)

I already know I wrote a sentence of a blog like three minutes ago but, i kinda feel like writing anyways. so here is goes:

Today was a good day. I worked on my mural for school about for three hours and I think i did a damn good job too. i hope i get an a on it. that will make me be happy. well life is going good for me right now. my friend recently came out to us and told us he's bisexual. im happy for him. but, i think im starting to like him. i've always kinda liked him before. i always thought he looked cute. but, i guess since i know hes bi it just prgrogressed into a crush. i hope he likes me too. we kinda sit next to each other in my chemistry class and he makes me coffee sometimes. he can be really sweet. i'm over the other guy i liked becuase i knew it wouldn't happen anyways so i quit. and now i found another. i hope he realizes i like him. and well see where it goes from there.

I am so excited i am going to finally see the dresden dolls. ive been wanting to see them in the longest time. and i finally have tickets to go to there show. i dont think there going to do a signing this time but, at least i'll see them on stage. i am going to see along to everysong, except the songs i dont know yet. but i am really excited. im saving up my money to pay my brother for the ticket, gay prom, and gay pride. im excited for the next few months. i have things to look forward too. and i look forward to the summer now too. i decided im going to change my look in the summer. i wont do it now. i'll wait till the summer where i dont have to worry about anything else. like homework. homework is so dumb. i think i want to cut my hair short. where i dont have to straighten it anymore. im getting tired of it. im damaging my hair too much. and the whole emo thing is kind of annoying to me. i dont wanna look like it. and ima stretch out my ears too. im going to get my lip peirced(if i can keep a 3.0 for the rest of the semester.) its going to be awesome.

well i think i should finish my homework now,
goodnight

the kill

=]

i got my tickets, all is well.

Gah...

My parents drive me crazy. I really want to go to the dresden dolls concert in may but, they seem to just ignore me at what i say.
My brother already told me he'll go with me. And i still havent got tickets. I already missed two chances to meet them and because no one gives a fuck at what i want to do. No body in my house cares. My parents dont like me being gay. Im sure therre just lying when they say they still love me